How to Get Alone with your Partner’s Phone

By Josh Harrison

So you’ve done your research, you know what apps to look for, how to transfer data from a phone and your ready to take the plunge and find out the truth once and for all. The only snag is: How do you get alone with your suspected cheater’s phone?

This can be a tricky pickle to be in as cheaters are notoriously protective of their phone. It may seem like gaining access to it without them around is near impossible. Fear not, as there are numerous occasions in day to day life which present opportunities. Here are some ideas and situations you may not have thought of and please feel free to leave a comment with your own cunning ideas.

Shower / Bath

Woman in shower

Statistical data shows that the average person’s shower lasts 8 minutes. If your spouse likes to take long showers or have a soak in the tub, you have even more time.

People rarely wake up and take their phone with them into the bathroom. If they do, that’s definitely a red flag that they may be trying to hide something. Use this private time to check their phone apps and call records. Remember to keep an ear out for water being turned off as a sign to set everything back to normal and place the phone in it’s original position.


Man asleep with phone

If your partner is a heavy sleeper, use the opportunity to check their phone in the middle of the night. This is best when they keep their phone on charge outside the bedroom as this can be risky if they wake up suddenly. If they come home drunk you have an even better chance they will sleep like a log throughout the night.

This won’t give you loads of time but it will at least give you a chance to check small things like the call records and messages on the phone. Be sure to be as quiet as possible and close all apps before returning the phone to it’s original position.

Water Activities

Man swimming laps

Water is one place where a smart phone just can’t venture. If your suspected cheater likes to swim, beach or anything involving getting in the water, this may be a chance.

Some people don’t like to take their phone to the gym, pool or beach as it can lead to damage from water or sand. If they leave their phone at home, you will have plenty of time. Another riskier option if you are with them is to do some data diving while they are in the water. The risk probably isn’t worthwhile at a swimming pool but from large distances such as the ocean if your partner surfs or dives, this may work.

Hide It

Woman looking through bag for phone

If all else fails, hide their phone! This should be carefully planned and be as subtle as possible. Ideally this should be done after they have gone to bed and before a work day. You don’t want to raise suspicions if they are using their phone, go to the bathroom and return to find it gone. You may need to take a day off work for this plan and remember to turn the phone off (or non-vibrate silent) so it can’t be called and hide it in the last place they would look.

When they wake up they will try to find their phone but won’t have enough time to look before they need to be at work. They will know it’s somewhere in the house which will avoid them making any brash decisions such as cancelling their phone account, etc.

Once your partner has left for work, switch the phone back on (if you switched it off). You now have an entire day to either transfer all the data from the phone or investigate their apps for signs of cheating. Before they return home, say that you found the phone in a place they didn’t look (e.g. under a couch cushion). Remember, their phone can’t go missing every day of the week so you only have one shot at this!


  1. My partner of 15 years is raging if I ask simple questions about time frames or him being on FB a lot or getting a lot of messages that he always says are men friends. I use to know his code for his phone but he keeps it wiped clean! Now he has put the fingerprint on it so I can’t even get on it. I know something is going on. He says he’s impotent and doesn’t want me to even touch him because he says I am trying to initiate sex and he can’t perform. He’s stopped even trying. I’m not stupid, he can get an erection but it doesn’t last lately with me. I say lately. I wouldn’t know cause it’s been too long to remember. I’m not stupid and I don’t enjoy someone insulting my intelligence! I do love him and I had real proof during sex he had been with a woman and he tried to deny it! There was no denying it. I’ve threatened to leave but he says he doesn’t want me to. Weird but true. I love him and told him we could work through an affair but he insists he hasn’t had one when I KNOW he has!!! I need a way to snoop in his phone to see what this woman is saying. He’s fine for awhile and sweet and then it seems he’s being pulled away. HELP.

    1. Hi Melanie, I’m so sorry to hear this is happening to you.
      In regards to accessing a phone with fingerprint security the only other way around this is that the phone usually allows PIN entry (as a backup if the fingerprint scanner stops working). The PIN maybe the previously used PIN, a bank card PIN or a completely new PIN. If it is a completely new PIN, the fingerprint reader would need to be covered or dirtied in someway to prevent the reader from working and thus requiring the PIN to be entered. You would need to be watching over your partner’s shoulder at this point to see the PIN being entered.
      Another alternative may be to hire a private investigator if you believe the affair to be ongoing. This will at least confirm your suspicions but will depend on funding.
      If this all sounds like too much and you know for sure that your partner has cheated, you may want to ask yourself if you can live with the current situation. As much as you love him, if knowing this will plague you and your relationship for the rest of your life it’s not worth it. Your mental health and happiness is the most important thing and you may need to make a decision on whether to stay or make a fresh start. It’s never too late.

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